#an anxiety disorder that i Don't have. don't want to have please. i fear this.

[hurglewurm]

me: we are Not going to worsen our life while in a minor depressive episode

the brain: :/

[aoi1dee]

Alexander (Alex) Morello :D

Ah yes here is my very handsome olnf MC

also...

HIP HIP HOORAYYY 101 FOLLOWERS tysm <3333

okay now here he is...

This is Alex in step 1 !! he is a very shy and fear filled kid. Basically anything can make him overthink and believe bad things are going to happen. He's been like this since he was just a little boy :(

His fears also causes his social anxiety. If someone looks at him the wrong way, he's already walking away as fast as he can with watery eyes because he believes that that person hates him. Because of this, he grew up having a hard time making friends + no one really wanted to be his friend. According to other kids, "he is super weird and too much to handle. I don't want him clinging onto me when he's scared"

No one (not even his own mama) knows why he is afraid of everything he doesn't even know himself. Alexander wishes that he could be able to do fun things like all the other kids and not have his brain tell him all of the things that could go wrong.

Though when he meets Qiu and Tamarack, something flips in him. Though he is still scared of doing anything, he is willing to get over those fears if either one of them wants him to do it. He wants to make his two new (and first) friends happy!

(here is the full body design)

moving onto step 2...

Thanks to his two besties (and crushes) Alex is finally able to do the stuff he always wanted to do! Like go skateboarding by himself or order himself food at a restaurant (even though it takes him a little bit) But sadly that doesn't mean that those thoughts are still there. They are.

Alexander and his Ma were finally able to put a name to why he feels like everything is out to get him.. Anxiety~ So all of those thoughts about "what if this happens" "or what if I do this" are still there but they don't affect him as much as they used to.

Because of this, Alex was able to find some things that he was into. He realized that he really loved films and wanted to make some himself! He has a current obsession with horror movies though. If you asked him how many times he has watched Scream he wouldn't be able to tell you. (because he is embarrassed about how many times he has watched it.) But he has also taken Bass guitar lessons! He carries his bass guitar around everywhere (even if he doesn't need it).

As he grew older though, certain things start to bother him. He is always comparing himself to others. While his two neighbors have perfectly clear skin, his face his covered in acne. The way he walks is weird, the way he talks his weird. Everything about him is weird according to his own mind. He's just never pleased with himself. Even after all of these years, the thoughts about wanting to be normal still torture him. Why does he have to have anxiety? Why does he still have trouble with talking to others?

All of those thoughts fly away as soon as he talks to Qiu and Tam. He still will do anything for them but those feelings when he was younger starting growing into actual teenage crushes. Every single thing that those two will do can make his face turn red. Both of them are just so pretty!

here is the full body drawing of alex...

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ah yes.. if you compared Alex when he is 18 to Alex when he was 10 there was an absolute clear difference between them.

As Alex grew even older and went through those high school years, he was finally diagnosed with an Anxiety Disorder and is taking meds for it!! Now that his anxiety is finally at bay he started to realize a couple of things.. Why should he care about what other people think? Why does he have to dress for other people? Why was he afraid to be himself?

Though it took a little bit, Alex started to actually find himself. He already knew that he wanted to go to school for film and that he liked to play bass. But! He finally got the strength to join a band as their lead singer and bass guitarist! Even though this band is only planning on staying in Golden Grove, Alex is super proud of himself that he is doing this anyways.

Because of Alex slowly growing to be more confident about himself, it started to be seen by other people too. Other people started to see how beautiful Alex really is and he started to see it to!

And something extra funny, his personality ended up being a copycat of his Ma's. After being total best friends with his Ma his entire life, he ended up becoming exactly like his Mama with the way he stands, the way he talks, just anything is exactly like his Ma. (Though he is still a little shy)

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That's my MC!! If you made it this far tysm!! And I'm so sorry if it was difficult to read I was spilling all of this from my head to this post lol.

Byebye!!!

[ericshoney]

Weight ~ Brothers!Sturniolo Triplets

Summary: Nick, Matt and Chris find out about your eating disorder.

Warnings: possible swearing, eating disorder, anxiety, weight, fear of food, mentions of throwing up, bullying, crying, angst with a fluff ending

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It started with one word.

Fat.

You ignored it. Knowing how teenagers could be, how judgemental and horrible some could be.

Then it got worse.

Fat. Cow. Bitch. Overweight. Chubby. Ugly. Heavy. Large.

You tried hard to ignore it, but it was too hard. You didn't want to bother your family, so you took matters into your own hands.

Breakfast was easy to miss. You would rush out the door, shouting a quick bye to your parents and brothers if they were home and head to school.

Lunch was also easy to miss on school days, as you just wouldn't buy anything. Only drink water and chat with your friends.

Dinner was the hardest. You would sit at the table, the smell of food you once loved and enjoyed, now made you feel sick and anxious. You would sometimes say you weren't hungry, but knew that wouldn't always work, so you had a back up plan.

Eat and then throw it up.

It would work if only your parents were home. Having the excuse to go to your room after dinner and sneak to your bathroom, throwing all the food up.

When Nick, Matt and Chris were home, it was much harder. They would want to go out and get ice cream, saying they would treat you and get snacks. Something you loved to do, before your disorder developed.

In the back of your mind, you knew you needed help, you knew you had to talk to your family, but you were scared. What if they got mad? Or didn't want anything to do with you? So many thoughts ran through your mind. So you kept it to yourself.

At the moment, the triplets were home in Boston. You were at school as they had gone out to see Nate for a bit, only to come home and see your parents sat at the kitchen island, both with sad expressions on their faces.

"What's going on?" Nick asked first.

"Honestly bud, we don't know." Jimmy answered.

"Please explain." Matt said.

"Your sister has been acting differently and we really don't know what to do anymore." MaryLou mentioned.

"How different?" Chris asked.

"She doesn't seem herself. She also doesn't eat as much as she used to, or stick around after a meal. We thought it could just be her teenage faze, but she's got thinner." Jimmy replied.

"Want us to try and talk to her?" Nick offered.

Their parents nodded, hoping they could get through to you. Nick, Matt and Chris went and sat in your room, waiting for you to get home.

When you arrived home from school, you shouted a hi to your parents and ran to your room, only to see three of your brothers there. You were slightly shocked to see the identical three sat on your bed, wondering what was going on.

"Hey guys." You greeted, placing your bag by your desk and kicking your shoes off.

"Hey kid, we gotta talk." Nick said.

"Okay, what about?" You asked, trying to remain calm.

"Sit down, petal." Matt said.

You sighed and sat on your bed, in between Chris and Matt, as Nick sat on your desk chair. As the three looked at you closely, they could tell you were a lot thinner than the last time they came home.

"We want you to be honest with us, bub." Chris began.

"Are you not eating?" Nick asked.

"I...Yeah." You mumbled.

"Are you skipping meals?" Matt asked.

You looked at the three, their blue eyes filled with worry, which made it harder to lie.

"Yeah." You admitted, looking down at your lap.

"Why?" Chris asked softly.

You sighed and told them everything, to the comments on socials, to the verbal comments in school, to the bullying that happens. How you wanted to not be a burden to them, Justin or your parents. As you confessed, the tears streamed down your face.

"Sweetheart, you were never ever any of those words." Matt said, pulling you into his arms.

"And you're definitely not them now." Chris added.

"I'm scared to gain weight." You admitted.

"We're going to help you, babe. Okay?" Nick said, making you nod.

"You're not in this alone, you have us, kid." Chris added.

"I'm sorry." You whispered.

"Don't be sorry, petal. It's not your fault. We're not mad, we're so proud you've told us. We understand it's hard but we're going to help you like Nick said. The first step is to tell mum and dad, okay." Matt said gently.

You nodded as your brothers each hugged you. You knew it would be hard but having their love and support would make it easier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags:

@lgbtq-girl @mattsfavbigtitties @onelesslonelygirlbieber6 @riowritesitall @sturniolo-fann

[princesssarisa]

While looking for illustrations of John Brooke from Little Women today, I came across an article with the thesis that in Part II, John has PTSD from fighting in the Civil War, and that this is the "real" reason for the rough patches in his marriage to Meg.

I don't want to fully dismiss that headcanon. John goes to war for a year, after all, and then is wounded badly enough to be discharged. What he goes through could easily create PTSD. Besides, this is only the latest of several mental health headcanons I've read about the characters in Little Women: others include "Meg has postpartum depression after the twins are born," "Jo has ADHD or moderate bipolar disorder," and "Beth has autism, and/or Social Anxiety Disoder, and/or anorexia." Some of these I buy more easily than others, but I never mind seeing them suggested.

But at the same time, the author's support for the thesis consisted of painting all of John's behavior in Part II, and both Meg and Marmee's reactions to him, in the worst possible light. They accuse him of "insensitively" laughing at Meg about the jelly, "sulking" when she spends money beyond their means, "neglecting her" after the twins are born, etc. And they interpret Meg's eagerness to please him and fear of disappointing him, Marmee warning her about his capacity for long-lasting anger, and her anxiety about leaving him alone with the babies as "This man is a potential abuser and his wife and mother-in-law both know it and are afraid of him."

IMHO, there are so many levels of wrong in all of the above!

And the more I think about it, the more I realize that using those bad-faith readings to argue that John has PTSD has a hint of ableism. The argument is basically "John is a good, likable man in Part I, but in Part II he becomes a selfish jerk of a husband whom Meg is afraid of and always placating. PTSD can explain the change." Doesn't that reading have unfortunate implications about PTSD?

[charlottecutepie]

☥ Bunny meat (William Afton x fem!reader x Michael Afton)

Summary: He was a likeable middle-aged man who had wonderful children, his dream job and a beautiful wife. He never blamed himself for his own actions, or to be more exact, he never thought about their consequences.

author notes: thank u so much guys for supporting my story, means a lot to me! <3 have some Michael in this chap, we get closer to some spicy things :)

tags: darkfic, unhealthy relationship, angst, smut with plot, p in v, dubcon, oral sex, rough and gentle sex, daddy kink, blood play, knife play, fear play, hurt/comfort, violence, gore/murders, child abuse, follows fnaf lore, moral and physical abuse, virginity kink, anxiety disorder, age gap, daddy issues, unreliable narrator, hallucinations, hidden pairing, William is sick, psychopathy, unhealthy narcissism

Chapter 4

Chapter 3. Carelessness

“But isn't Mrs. Afton waiting for you at home?” you asked awkwardly, swaying from one foot to the other.

“I warned her that I would be late,” he went into the kitchen of the house, looking around. “she's used to it.”

What's wrong with him? Why is he so cold towards his own wife?

“As i understand, after the death of your father, your mother still found a job?” he asked, brazenly sitting down at the table, as if it was his house. “I always knew she was a strong woman.”

You nodded nervously and smiled, still standing in the hallway. You wanted to show your hospitality, as your mother raised you, but for some reason you movements were hampered by annoying anxiety. In fact, you were also terribly tired after a such evening, but somehow you didn't want to leave Afton alone, and besides, that's not how your mother taught you, you need to show politeness.

“Maybe tea?” you blurted out.

William immediately turned his head at you, surprised at such cute initiative.

“I wouldn't mind.” overcoming fear, you went into the kitchen, pouring water into the kettle. You put it on the stove. Time passed agonizingly long, the silence between the two of you was horrible. “How are you doing with school? How are the exams?”

“Everything's fine, I passed the exams perfectly.” finally the kettle boiled. “What kind of tea will you have?”

“Green, please.” you nodded and put the tea to brew. When everything was ready, you served a hot drink on the table, sitting down opposite Afton. He continued to ask questions related to your studies and further plans for the future. To some extent, you were grateful to him, his voice, questions, moralizing about the future, all this helped to distract from unnecessary thoughts. “You know, Y/n… you are a very beautiful girl.”

“Thank you, Mr. Afton.” hot tea scalded your throat, just like his words.

“No need for such formalities. Just call me William.” Afton smiled slightly, getting up from the table, heading in your direction. You don't know what drove you, but all the fear and anxiety were replaced by curiosity about his next actions, maybe it was alcohol you drank at your bday? “It's so nice to see how you turned from a cute little girl into a beautiful young lady.” the kitchen became stuffy, unbearably hot. You felt dizzy, but not because of the high temperature of the air, no. Because of his compliments. “Such… Silky hair, delicate features…”

His words don't cause disgust or antipathy, on the contrary — you want him to continue praising you. You want to lose myself in this gentle flattery.

“I appreciate your words.” you answered timidly, getting up from the table and going to the sink. William was standing next to you all this time, leaning on the kitchen counter, watching you wash the mugs.

“Surprises don't end there.” he purred, already behind your back. His voice sent goosebumps all over your body. “I wanted to give you this one personally.” with these words, he put a cute necklace on your neck.

…

Around five in the morning, Mr. Afton returned to his house. Getting out of the car, he looked at the seat where you was sitting and smiled.

Mrs. Afton was in the living room, she was sitting on the couch watching TV, the woman's eyes were sleepy, and she herself was falling into a doze. From the sound of the open front door, she instantly cheered up and went out into the hallway to her husband.

“Hi, you're a little late this time.” Clara spoke.

“Sorry,” he muttered, not even looking at her. He walked into the living room, falling wearily onto the sofa. “just some problems with animatronics.”

The blonde woman sat down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Michael and Elizabeth are sleeping…” she whispered softly, looking up at her husband. William put his arm around her, his gaze going somewhere past the TV. The woman's arms wrapped around his neck and she reached out for a kiss. Afton behaved insensitively, doing almost nothing in response and showing no initiative. Clara pulled away, her lips going down to the man's chin and neck.

“Clara, not now.” he was off and rude, Afton removed his wife's hands from his neck and got up from the sofa. “I'm going to rest, I'm pretty exhausted, it's been a long day.” he said dryly and disappeared from her field of vision.

…

July 16.

Finally, you and Michael got to hang out. However, Elizabeth wanted to go with you too, she tearfully asked her brother to take her with him. Gritting his teeth, he did it, otherwise he would have received a scolding from his mother.

“Y/n, did you bring a swimsuit?” Michael asked, spreading a blanket on the bank of the river.

“Mmm… no, you didn't say we were going to swim.” you answered, taking out some fruits and a bottle of orange juice from your backpack.

“Well, that's even better.” Michael grinned, you only rolled your eyes at him. Yeah, now it's clear why they say that girls are smarter than boys.

You sat down next to the river, enjoying the beauty around. The singing of birds and buzzing of bees, boundless blue sky, bright sun and green forest nearby created an incredibly cozy atmosphere. You lay on your stomach, trying to finish reading your favorite book, while Michael was telling you about his adventures again. You and him are absolute opposites. He is a sunny, active, curious guy, who loves to skip school and cheat on school tests. And you're a quiet, shadow girl who always gets A's. But something about this guy interested you, no, it wasn't a crush, but he was always so lively, so positive that it couldn't help but cause a smile.

Elizabeth was somewhere nearby, playing in the water.

Michael called your name, but it looks like you were too immersed in the plot of the story.

“Hey!” he playfully took the book away from you, showing you his tongue in a teasing manner. “Give it back!”

“Catch me!” with a laugh, he rushed away to the river.

Michael had nothing to lose, because he wasn't interested in such a hobby as reading, and he was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, and it was so hot outside that his clothes would have dried in literally an hour.

“Michael, give me the book!”

“And where is the magic word?” he kept teasing you.

You got angry when you realized that you could play with him like that for an eternity, and it wouldn't do any good. Michael was already knee-deep in water, you took off your sneakers, throwing them and socks somewhere to the side. A little more, and you will take away your book, but at some point everything went wrong, the bottom of the river was slippery because of the clay, you couldn't stand on your feet as you fell into the water. The whole situation was so absurd that it didn't cause anger, but on the contrary — laughter and fun. You pulled Michael's leg, and he fell into the water after you. Elizabeth laughed watching you.

Teenage foolishness knows no bounds, you and Michael were carelessly splashing in warm water. You completely forgot about the raw book that was floating somewhere on the surface next to you.

“Mikey, it's getting dark, I'm cold.”

All wet, cold, but happy, you were sitting on a blanket, enjoying a bright summer sunset. The sun was sinking smoothly below the horizon, dusk was approaching.

“Take my hoodie,” Michael took clothes out of his backpack, handing them to Elizabeth. “Y/n, and what time do you need to be home?”

“I don't know, but definitely not by one o'clock in the morning.” you laughed, Michael jokingly pushed you in the shoulder. “What are your plans for the rest of the summer?”

“Spend it with you, of course.” he giggled, but when he saw your serious look, he froze. “Oh, well, actually none. Only to help father in the pizzeria…”

You sighed, watching the last warm rays of the sun. With the onset of darkness, the wind and cold came. You hugged your shoulders to keep warm.

Michael's gaze by accident fell on the halo of your nipples, which hardened from the cold air. He blushed, scolding himself for his own stupid thoughts, but his hormones are boiling like mad.

“Y/n, I …” Michael began, but immediately regretted, because of the embarrassment his voice sounded so ridiculous. He moved closer to you. Elizabeth was snoring sweetly, wrapped up in his hoodie. “I wanted to say that…”

“Michael? Henry told me you were at the pizzeria with him.”

Michael's eyes widened with fear, Elizabeth instantly woke up, turning her head to her father. Afton was standing right behind you with his hands on his hips. How could you not hear the sounds of his footsteps and car?

[morskisir]

The public is VERY interested in your Sniper thoughts. Please, I need them. Phobias? Eating habits? Can he dance? *Should* he? Is he aware when he makes direct eye contact he looks scary af? Is he good at poker or does he not even play?

You are one of my strongest followers o7 THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS!!! I will answer them all individually below.

Phobias?

If we're talking about proper phobias and not fears in general, then he doesn't really have any? UNLESS you count social phobia, which, yeah, he's got that. (I would like to clarify social phobia and social anxiety disorder are different things but he's got both of them, so.)

Social phobia is like, specific social situations that will continuously bring you anxiety/fear. The shit that will have him shaking every single time is a person genuinely trying to get to know him. Even a simple question such as "What's your favourite colour?" could set him off into a state of anxiousness. He LOATHES conversations like that, he wants to be left alone, he's not anyone you should pay attention to, he's not interested in doing this, go away. His fear of being known past the point of "professional assassin" is deep and greatly impacts his life. What the fuck are social relationships am I right?

Another social situation would be: phone calls! You can imagine how nice it is for him to only be able to call his parents when he isn't visiting them at their home in Oz. <3 It's the fear of I cannot see this person and I don't know how they're really reacting to this. He already isn't the best at reading people's faces, phone calls are just another level of hell.

2. Eating habits?

MEAT. MEEEAAAAT- if he could get away with only eating meat the rest of his life he fucking would. Alas, meat doesn't give your body all of the fuel it needs. Heartbreaking. (Not for me I dislike meat sdgkhdskg)

He will still insist on having meat in every fucking meal, and do not, do NOT make a steak that isn't at least a little bit raw. This guy's an animal. Give him his blue steak or he'll think your cooking is shit.

Anyways, I wouldn't say he eats a lot. He eats enough, I guess. Cunt's just running on a lot of coffee + a couple of cigarettes. He's more addicted to caffeine than tobacco.

3. Can he dance?

No. I don't know if Australian schools did this, let alone in his time, but if they did: he would skip every single P.E. class where they would do dancing instead of just chucking some ball around. He is SCARED he doesn't want to be in such close proximity with someone else hksdgkj (except Spy) (who said that) He doesn't have interest in learning how to dance, either. If he's drunk and you somehow get him to dance you'll see a horrible, non-existent dance move.

4. Should he?

No. Spy would beg to differ.

5. Is he aware when he makes direct eye contact he looks scary as fuck?

Yes and no. When he stares at someone on purpose to scare them away- it works! It's reliable! He's aware of the power that stare holds! He just doesn't realise he kind of always looks like that. The Stare(tm) is simply even more intense. There is a great darkness in his eyes........... /ref

6. Is he good at poker or does he not even play?

He can play it! He's only really decent at it- it's not his thing. Only really learned how to play it through peer pressure. (there is lore to this, but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

Scout begs Sniper to play with him and he very begrudgingly accepts because no one else does hdsghj. He is very bored and would rather read his tracking books, but he cannot escape the ADHD. (You call out the smallest act of sympathy he just did and he'll beat the shit out of you)

^ Scout when he wants to play poker

[yellowocaballero]

Omg hi Ms. Yellow Caballero big fan of your work <3 For real though, I'm really excited that your sharing the Weekenders, it was a joy to read and I'm bongocat-ing now that others also get the privilege to read it as well.

Referencing your tags, would you please elaborate of ableism in fandom and, like you said, how fandom treats characters with unpalatable disabilities?

Hi Ms. Bud Lite I'm a big fan of you <3

TL;DR A fear of writing characters of highly marginalized identities shields you from criticism and discomfort, but it's actively stigmatizing to people of these identities and as a writer you really need to get over yourself and write The Icky People.

I guess I'll come out swinging on this one and say that fandom doesn't like severe mental illness. (As a note, when I say severe mental illness (SMI) I mean illnesses such as psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, personality disorders, etc)

Obviously, nobody likes people w/SMI. It's just insanely egregious in fandom to me, since fanfic writers absolutely love writing characters or HC characters with depression, anxiety, or a specific variety of PTSD That Isn't Scary. People actively reject any character HCs for a SMI. When people write a character with SMI, they nicely downplay it, ignore it, substitute it for a disorder they like better, or rewrite it. It's completely untolerated, in both headcanons and in fanfiction, and every time I bring it up I always get the most interesting reasons why somebody couldn't possibly acknowledge a character's SMI in their writing. I've heard all of these:

"I don't know enough about the disorder to write it accurately." Do research.

"I'm not X, so I can't really depict it." You probably aren't a cis white man, but you depict those guys just fine.

"It feels insulting to the character." There is no shame in having a SMI.

"I can't understand what it's like, so it's better to be cautious and avoid giving characters stigmatized identities." There are LOTS of experiences that you'll never understand because you've never had them - you just don't want to write anything you're uncomfortable with. People with SMI make you uncomfortable, and you don't want to write anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or think of a comfort character in an uncomfortable way. SMIs are marginalized differently than solely depression/anxiety/The Nice PTSD, and by refusing to write them you're actively contributing to the stigma.

I think (?) I've spoken in the past about how I believe that the rigorous external and internal policing of writing people of marginalized identities is actively harmful towards efforts to increase diversity of experience and background in fiction. A lot of fanfiction writers are just terrified to write people who they can't directly relate with, because they're worried 'they'll get it wrong' and be Big Cancelled. I think this is negative enough when it prevents people from going outside of their comfort zone, but on a macro level I think this results in people refusing to write characters of marginalized identities as all. It's an insidious thought process, and it's reflected in people's unwillingness to diversity their writing or acknowledge canon diversity.

'Well, I don't understand what it's like to be Black, so I don't want to write Black people'. 'I want to project on this character, so I only want to write them with mental illnesses and identities I have'. 'If I write a marginalized character incorrectly people will yell at me, so I won't write a marginalized character who's marginalized differently than me at all'. Can you imagine writing a lesbian character with a boyfriend because 'you feel uncomfortable writing lesbian experiences'? It's blatantly homophobic. But people do that with disability and race/ethnicity ALL THE TIME.

People with SMI notice that you feel uncomfortable with them. It's obvious. They notice when a character has a SMI + anxiety, and you only write their anxiety. They notice when a character displays symptoms of a SMI in canon, but you write it out. And POC notice when the characters of color are written out. I know we all like to project on the blorbos and relate to them, and in the joys of your own head do whatever, but as a writer if you only stick to identities you're comfortable with you are actively being a worse writer. Which to me is the REAL sin lmfao.

[euniexenoblade]

I’m absolutely terrified of being trans. I’m definitely trans but I’m also autistic and have an anxiety disorder. So despite the fact that I desperately want to start hrt I’m paralysed by fear. I know it’s a lot to ask but please force fem me. I need someone to push me past the fear and you’re such an inspiration for me I thought I’d ask…

Come over.

Realistically I know that's super hard to get around. Someone very dear to me is autistic and has anxiety stuff, but one day she just sorta did it and it all clicked into place. I am lightly urging you to go for it, lightly cuz I don't want you to feel forced, do it at your pace. But I want you to know it's out there for you 💜

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my online friend that they embarrass me?

Note that I love my friend. It's more complicated than the title suggests And no it isn't bait!

So, I (20X) have a few profiles on social media. My online friend (22X) follows me everywhere with the same account. We've been friends for a very long time

Their account is cringe. Easiest way to describe it. They've had it ever since they were a kid, it has that horrible uwu humor from the mid 2010s all over it, old fanart, old fics, "cursed" fandoms, you name it. They've linked every other account they've ever had so there's even more stuff. It's exactly what you'd expect from someone who's really into fandom and has been using the same account for the past decade

Let me be clear! Being cringe isn't bad, if anything long live cringe and having fun. I'm no stranger to it, we literally share the same interests and I contributed to half the things on their account. Even if I keep my online and private life separate I don't think it's bad to do otherwise

I'm glad they're more immune to cringe culture than I am and I don't want them to be like me. This embarrassment is my issue, I care too much about people's opinions, I know that. That's why I'm trying to fix it! And ironically it's where the problems start

I want to get over my fear of showing my drawings to people I know IRL. I decided to make a private account for my IRL friends to follow and select what to post so I can get used to it bit by bit. Exposure therapy basically

I know it sounds stupid but I have diagnosed social anxiety and for me it's a really big deal. I can barely cope with this much. Please don't mistake it as a chronically online issue, it's happening online simply because it's easier for me but it affects my life in many ways as a disorder does. I'm just trying to step out of my comfort zone in my own terms through something I'm passionate about

I invited my online friend because I love them and I appreciate their support. But again they use that same account for everything and they'll use it to interact with me. I know my IRL friends will see it, and they'll probably see our shitty old fanfics and cursed collab fandom posts where I'm clearly involved. That's not stepping out of my comfort zone in my own terms anymore

This is stopping me from posting anything or let my IRL friends know about the account. I want to try and figure something out with my friend, but if I confront them it'll come across as "you're embarrassing me" no matter how I word it. I don't want to come up with a lie or block them from my profile without explanation because that feels even worse

What are these acronyms?

[flooftyfizzlebeans]

Theory on why we headcanon specific characters as trans more often than others, using the Fizzlebeans as evidence.

Identity based character arcs vs... other stuff based character arcs.

Warning this is EXTREMELY LONG

Starting by analyzing Floofty, as they are my expertise.

Floofty is a scientist with no help, no funding, and ambitious plans. They come across as cold and uncaring, when in reality much of their shortsightedness comes from caring too much. Not for those closest to them directly, of course. But the greater good, and grumpuskind as a whole.

Their previous line of work suggests that when they had more resources, they spent more time helping individuals. Making prosthetics is a HIGHLY variable process, each individual limb that needs one being EXTREMELY different, even on the same person. Therefore they would need to be attentive towards individuals by necessity, even when making scientific breakthroughs. I don't think they'd have amazing bedside manner but I only bring this up to stress that Floofty is capable and willing to care for others should the situation call for it. However, they probably don't feel like they can afford to care after the events that cost them.... everything.

I assume they got their awesome career position through work during school, proving themself academically in a way that their.... abrasive characteristics wouldn't interfere with. Now that they have nothing, they're trying to get it back the same way they got it, by proving themself through actions.... but who they are and how people perceive them is directly responsible for their lack of help on Snaktooth. Actually, who they are likely made it near impossible to rebuild their reputation when inevitably grumps will think they are either chopping test subjects up to make murder machines or a confidentiality liability. They think their work should speak for itself, and who they are shouldn't matter. (They might even believe that they don't matter. It's already clear that their work is worth more to them than their own life.)

Realizing what they mean to others, who they could be to them when they let go of the big picture importance, and how they can help like they so desperately want to is integral to saving them. Let them forget that they are in fact, a grumpus, the very thing they want to save, and they might as well become what they study. Bugsnax.

...

Snorpy, however, as I've stated, is pretty much the opposite. Where Floofty rejects themself, Snorpy protects himself.... prepare for a staggeringly less complete analysis thanks to Not Literally Being Snorpy. Snorpies and Snorpy experts in the notes please contribute.

Snorpy is an engineer whose inventions are held in great esteem in Snaxburg, and yet he believes the world is out to get him. (By the world I mean... the grumpinati) The grumpinati is, in fact, not out to get him, and it takes incredible amounts of jumping to conclusions fueled by intense fear for anyone to shrink their world that small.

It's implied by his previous work that he was previously much more capable of... interacting with the public? being seen? than he is now. Like I mentioned, constructing prosthetics requires a lot of individual time and care, and a lot of interacting with many different grumpuses. But now? He is driven by fear. I can't even blame him, he's clearly deeply traumatized. How would you feel if your life's work was taken and warped for something you found cruel and evil all while you still depended on them for your livelihood? And you already probably had some sort of anxiety disorder?

Moving on, he is actually able to work perfectly fine. In fact, nearly every grumpus is seen using something he invented at least once? Despite inventions like The Knife Shot and flammable tripwire moments he's well liked by the town and everyone trusts his work to... work. But he's so absorbed by his own perceptions that it's impossible for him to take praise or even socialize without suspicion.

Even the relationship he holds most dear, and integral to what we call "Snorpy" is up in the air for him. I can only imagine he didn't ask for clarification or confess to his romantic feelings towards Chandlo out of fear. Fear of what exactly I can't say, as it's probably every possible factor that that course of action would change.

And... well. His main problem is never solved. Shelda is right, he needs therapy. Extensive therapy. But... he still improves. Part of why he does all of this is to protect Chandlo, and hide all of this from him... but after fighting Daddy Cakelegs it becomes a lot more clear to Snorpy that Chandlo is trying to protect him and knows a lot more than he gives him credit for. He's a lot closer to and more equal to Snorpy. Snorpy doesn't have to spend and sacrifice every fiber of his being to the bugsnax to protect who he loves.

That being said, who he is has nothing to do with his character arc. He's Snorpy, he's a nerd, he is an engineer. None of this is brought into question. Floofty's very status of "grumpus" is called into question through their experiments. (on an esoteric level. kinda. bugsnax are weird.)

What they share is their interactions with other grumpuses and how important actually letting themselves connect with others is... but that's something Everyone shares at least a little.

How does this relate to transgender headcanons? Floofty's arc features their identity very heavily, and calling the identity of the self into question is extremely transgender. Sometimes the definition of transgender. At the very least, a part of the process. (everyone is different)

That's why I think Shelda, Chandlo, and Wiggle are so popular for trans headcanons despite not necessarily doing anything outside their gender's norms. Their arcs heavily have to do with who they are and how their actions reflect that. Gramble and Triffany have a little bit of this but I can't rule out their gender non-comformity as the reason.

Of course, everyone is transgender to at least one person in the fandom because there's nothing proving anyone is cis and this fandom is very very queer.

[keshetchai]

As someone who enjoys religion blogging/discussions, I've come to realize that it's a good practice to be aware of the general signs/symptoms of religious-OCD thinking (aka scrupulosity), because if the conversation is taking on all the hallmarks of scrupulosity, it's actually a definitive sign that we cannot meaningfully and compassionately engage in a conversation about religion in a healthy way. I've actually had this play out a significant number of times online, and when I realized what it was, I also began to realize that the intrusive thoughts/obsessive and compulsive thinking are only ever fed by continuing the discussion with that person.

[[ Important edit to clarify why I am saying it's not healthy — made after I went back to look for more concrete facts about OCD or anxiety (I have GAD, not OCD, but many resources overlap since they're both anxiety disorders):

When Reassurance is Harmful — this explains how/why reassurance-seeking specifically about an OCD fear is a compulsive behavior, and engaging with reassurance-seeking interferes with recovery/management/treatment.

This table from the Anxiety Disorders Center lists key differences between Information Seeking and Reassurance Seeking.

This IOCDF page on Scrupulosity info for Faith Leaders identifies "symptom accommodation" as enabling. Two of the examples of doing this by participating in the OCD behavior are: "Engage in excessive conversation focused on if-then scenarios (e.g., "If I did this, then would X or Y happen? And what if Z was involved? How about W?")" And, "Repeatedly answering questions about ‘correct’ religious or faith practices."

That page also goes on to outline more info about reassurance seeking. "Although providing answers to (often simple!) questions may seem harmless, providing reassurance serves to maintain the anxiety disorder cycle." (This BMC psychiatry article cites a lot of related studies establishing this.)

The IOCDF page on What is OCD and Scrupulosity? ]]

Imo, the responsible thing to do is to recognize that (even if the other person hasn't outright stated it/isn't diagnosed)* the conversation is not about religion, it is about needing mental health support from professionals and experts. Talking to me, the layperson who enjoys chatting theology and my religion — is not only not helping, but is actively harmful. I'm not just talking about the person who I replied to today, either. Like I've said, I've seen this happen dozens of times in various online forums.

*[while I am against diagnosing strangers on the internet, it's important to realize A) lots of people don't know what Scrupulosity is, so it's possible they've never considered this is a mental health concern that could be treated, and that B) for the purposes of my concern, it doesn't matter if they actually have diagnosed OCD. The only thing that matters is that their thought-process causes them genuine distress/fear, and every response given to them seems to only incite new/additional distressing questions/thoughts, or further entrenches the original distress.]

Ultimately, any discussion aside from "you might want to speak to a mental health professional about scrupulosity OCD" seemingly puts me in the position of feeling as if I am being used for their self-harm. I hate that feeling. I do not want to be leverage for fear and pain. I have GAD, I despise the idea that I am making things worse.

No matter how much I love religious discussion, the answer in these cases is always "please reach out to an OCD specialist/mental health professional. I am not qualified to discuss this." And then to stop there. I have never once seen anyone stuck in this compulsive thought spiral be reassured or feel any better by hearing from someone else's approach to theology handled with things like empathy, compassion, logic, or even atheism. It doesn't matter what we say, how we say it, or how we relate to our own religion. The urge to engage in this kind of conversation in order to chat about religion is a sign that we are not equipped to help.

You can't have a conversation here, because intentionally or not, ten times out of ten, you are adding fuel to the fire. Just like people can't simply tell me something that would erase/talk me out of my ADHD/depression/anxiety disorder, you also cannot simply argue/reassure/persuade people out of scrupulosity. We should not try. We have a responsibility to consider that it's outright harmful to do so, and to disengage.

[kiragecko]

My son has OCD. Worrying about moral contamination - that by being associated with people who do or think wrong things we become bad - is extremely similar to scrupulosity - an OCD sympton where someone experiences great anxiety about becoming bad by thinking bad things. I don't want that for you guys.

I worry about those of you caught up in purity culture. You guys don't deserve the fear and anxiety being pushed on you. You are not forever tainted by reblogging a post by a bad person, no matter how people around you react. Using the wrong words doesn't make you cruel. Thinking "bad" erotic thoughts doesn't make you disgusting.

You don't have to be perfect all the time. Mistakes are okay. Having flaws isn't unforgiveable - in fact, everyone has them.

We need to think gross, uncomfortable thoughts sometimes. Sometimes its because they confuse us and we need to figure out what's going on. Sometimes it's because we're afraid of doing them accidentally, so we need to understand why they happen. Sometimes its because we're actually trying to understand something else, and our brain latched on to this weird thing as a good mirror for exploring it. There are so many reasons!

Please, treat yourself lovingly. I'm watching my son suffer, and it's so hard for him. He's got mean brain chemistry fighting him, don't willingly put that pain on yourself! It's so much harder to get out of these thought patterns than to get in!

Your thoughts do not make you evil. The people you interact with do not make you evil. Surrounding yourself with cruel people, or fixating on evil thoughts, can influence your actions. But it is your actions and intentions that define you.

Be gentle with yourself.

-

PS. OCD is NOT a moral failing or a bad choice. It is an awful mental disorder that, similarly to my anxiety disorder, makes life harder and SUCKS. I'm bringing in the comparison because people seem to be purposefully training themselves into some of the nastiest thought patterns, and then thinking they've done the right thing. It's the lies that are the problem, not the people!

[starryneitz]

I am going to preface this with me saying that I know that this sounds needy but this is my last resort and a desperate cry for help.

Otakon is right around the corner and it's my only time I get to truly be myself, and I come from a VERY abusive household. My younger brothers are always praised and given money to do whatever they want whenever they want. I, on the other hand, get abused and mistreated all the time because I'm different. Since I am queer and a Democrat I get treated like dogshit. My mom forbade me from going to Ota unless I gave her all of my money I saved up. So I have $0 and am starting from scratch. I make federal minimum wage at 20 hours a week, max. If I didn't lose my job back in March (reason of firing on paper was because of my diagnosis of anxiety and ADHD, and coming from a children's science center that praises itself on its acceptance about mental health, disorders, and LGBTQIA+ communities, just goes to show how shitty it is), I might have gotten away with saving more. But I'm flat broke.

Otakon is my one and only escape in the year to be myself. My mom marks all the criteria for Nazism. She is highly anxious towards me. All of my thoughts, emotions, words, and actions are forced by her. She forces me to be her. I do not know who I am. I never knew who I was. The only time I am allowed to show any personality without fearing being abused it at Ota, and even then I still fear being screamed at or hit.

If anyone is financially stable enough to contribute it would be gladly appreciated BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE ABLE TO CONTRIBUTE TO PALESTINE FIRST! I know I have it bad, but they deserve it more.

Thank you if you read this far. I know some of you might have heard me talk about my family before, and I'm sorry if you read this and see that my situation hasn't gotten any better. I can't escape. I tried many times. It has always failed and she always keeps me from leaving because she takes all my money. She tells me that I never have had any friends and that no one would ever truly like me or stand being around me to even care to look at me. It's hard. It's hard to know you're truly alone. I know I have friends, but with knowing what she has been telling me my entire life, is it true that they're friends? I don't know. I don't know who I am.

If you're able to donate my p@ypal is @/stardoka. As mentioned, please ONLY do so if you can donate to Palestinians first. Thank you so much for your time just to read <3

[doberbutts]

For the record I wasn't asking you about your opinion on a dobe because I'm hell set on dobes I was asking because I didn't know much about them other than "working dog" so please don't be making comments implying my potentially "putting dogs in stupid situations" because that's not the fucking case here clearly that's why I asked someone I thought more knowledgeable than me. My genuine reason is that there are people who are wary of dogs, especially breeds that "look mean" and that's why I like the notion of a non-standard service breed is because I know people with those service breeds and they are constantly dealing with harassment in the form of "OH LOOK! FLUFFY PUPPY!" by kids and grown ass adults I guess maybe my naive hope is that would be curbed somewhat.

And this is the reason I don't really love answering these types of questions, because people tend to get very defensive the second someone tells them they think it's a bad idea.

The implication that I have not dealt with harassment, access challenges, and targetted breed discrimination as a result of my breed choice is laughable. Creed had kids run up and grab him by the nub and around the neck. I was literally laid out on a bench in the middle of a fainting episode with him tied to me and a woman came up and grabbed him and kissed all over his face. I had people swat at and kick him. I had to fix a fear of shopping carts because people kept ramming him on purpose. I had people run away screaming and jump over tables and counters as we walked into the room. I can't tell you how many times I had to tell people to stop reaching for him and calling him. I can't tell you how many times people got angry and invasive just seeing me with him. I can't tell you how many people told me to my face that they'd shoot him or that they were calling Animal Control to have him taken from me.

If you don't want to hear it, don't ask. I told you my opinion. Clearly it's not what you wanted to hear.

I don't think a doberman is a good choice for a psychiatric service dog for someone with any panic, anxiety, or stress related disorder. I think you should pick a different breed. And I think you should work with a trainer skilled in the needs you have, in person, to help you find the right dog for you. That was my answer from the start. That remains my answer.

[lilspacewolfie]

Pretty please, could you write "Believe me, I will never be tired of you." with copiiia? Maybe even Lucifer Terzo? 🥺

Oh my Satan I needed this kind of softness so badly today. Thank you nonny *kisses your hand* Have a taste of Devil!Terzo <3

Content: 498 words, Devil!Terzo x Copia, SFW, from fluffy dialogue prompts, very short and sweet, seriously my teeth hurt, anxiety disorder, heavy on the tenderness, pillow talk, no beta we die like nihil!

The evenings always seem to be when he’s at his most vulnerable—when his mind doesn’t quite get the message that it's time to relax, sleep, and not have an existential crisis.

Some nights are easier than others. Some nights, Copia’s head hits the pillow and he’s out like a light. Some nights, he has to fight down panic attacks and brewing anxieties in whatever ways he can. Most nights, however, he lays and stares at Terzo’s peaceful face like he’s currently doing. 

His bare fingers fuss with the dark, sparse hair on Terzo’s chest. He’s been watching Terzo for a while now since they slid into bed, warmed from a shared shower and tender kisses. It always fascinates Copia. While Terzo appears to be at rest Copia knows He’s not—not entirely. The Devil doesn’t sleep. 

He watches as Terzo’s white eye opens into a slit, gazing back like He’s been watching Copia the whole time. Copia doesn't doubt that He has, in His way. He feels Terzo’s arm that’s loose around his back move, sliding up until His fingers glide into Copia’s hair. It makes him shiver hot from his head all the way down to his toes. His anxieties are damped for the moment.  

“Speak to me, topolino,” Terzo prompts softly, patient as ever. 

Copia lets out a small huff of laughter, shaking his head where it rests on Terzo’s shoulder. He knows Lucifer could dig into his head if He chose to and it's not like Copia could stop Him. But He doesn’t; He never has. Terzo gives him a look and turns His face more towards Copia. 

Copia tears his eyes away, embarrassed. “I don't want to bore you with the same problems, sua Maestà,” he mutters guiltily, tucking his head closer. He can feel Lucifer’s eyes on him. “It’s… it’s just the same worries as always.” The same overthinking, the same crisis of his fragile mortality and fear that—despite him being naked and flush against Lucifer—he’s still somehow unloveable.

Terzo’s thumb presses carefully into the knob at the top of Copia’s spine and His blunt nails in his hair raise goosebumps across his skin. When Copia feels Lucifer move, he lifts his head in time for His lips to press squarely between his brows—lingering. 

“You are here with me, now, at this moment. You are safe, and you matter to me, Copia.” Lucifer speaks against his skin, arms curling around him, as protective and reassuring as His words. 

Copia eyes flutter shut, guilt ballooning in his chest. 

“You must be so tired of me,” he says with a weak laugh. 

“No,” Lucifer whispers, firm but not unkind. “Believe me, topolino. I will never be tired of you.”

The fondness in His voice makes Copia’s eyes burn and his chest ache. Lucifer continues to kiss and touch him, with affectionate, soothing strokes that provide more reassurance than words can. 

Eventually, Copia curls closer until he’s plastered against His side, safe and warm in His arms. 

masterlist ⛧ Ao3

[laylaisknky]

I have to stay anon for reasons that will be obvious soon:

I'm a registered clinical psychologist practising in a major city. I've been a daddy for some time now. I spend many hours every day treating people with a variety of psychological problems (predominantly personality disorders and PTSD). My ultimate fantasy has always been to corrupt a vulnerable girl, progressively over the course of our sessions. Of course this is a complete ethical violation, so I've considered launching a service with explicit consent forms. It will run like a normal in person psychological consultation, with the expressed purpose of exploring past trauma, sexual inclinations and fears. Notes will be taken as normal and the individual will be affirmed and explored with increasing depth. The goal of the session is ultimate submission of mind and body, to me. A deep emotional connection of the deepest possible expression. Insecurities, fears and anxieties will be exploited for increasingly more brutal sex and total ownership.

I don't want you to be able to breathe without expressed permission.

Would something like this interest you?

OMG I’D LOVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS!! Please please please dm me!!

I love nothing more than people using my trauma and insecurities to help them get off ~ 🥰🥰🥰